CHATTY CHEWSDAYS

I think I chat too much on here.

I think its your turn, to let me know what you're doing....

In a new twist to this blog thing, every Tuesday, I shall be hosting "Chatty Chewsday"

This is your turn to chat to me and let me know whats going on in whatever part of the world your reading this....

I'll get the ball rolling......with something nice and easy

Today, for breakfast, I had a fried egg sandwich.

What did YOU have? Leave your comment right here 6

Dont be shy

In dog years..... I'm dead.

And so it begins. The slow waft towards the light. The sounds of the death march playing in the background. Pushing up the daisies. A coffindodger. Cashing in my chips. Being taken out feet first. Time to pay the piper. It's time ladies and gentleman to take an earth bath.

In less than a weeks time I'll be forty years of age or as my flatmate puts it, entering my 41st year. I however prefer to say I'm 18 with 22 years of experience. I like the sound of that.

Actually, I couldn't give a rats arse about being 40, I just wanted to see if any of you lot would shed a sympathetic tear, which, I'm assuming you didn't.

The birthday celebrations began in earnest on Friday gone.

Straight after work I popped round to Lisa & Marks place.


Lisa I've know since my very first visit here back in 1989 and Mark is her new husband of 18 months, though they have been together about 8 years I think. They have one of the best views you can get from a flat in Sydney. In fact their answermachine says "You've reached Lisa & Mark up at 'The Lookout".



These are the people who blew me out last week so offered to make me a dinner of my choice this week. So....roast pork, brussels and yorkshires it was. They did "Aussiefy" it by adding roast pumpkin, but I managed to shove that to the side of the plate when no-one was looking.

We sat at table '40' courtesy of a stolen table number thingy you get in restaurants. Just like the ones the husbands get in Sainsbury's on a Saturday morning when they order their bacon sarnie in the restaurant whilst 'mum' and the 2.4 kids hurtle around the aisles screaming "Mum, can I have a Rabbit?"



I digress. Mark and I started with a couple of beers, whilst Lisa did womens work in the kitchen. You know the sorta thing, peeling taters, scrubbing pans and other such things that men demand of their wenches. We allowed her to join us after a few beers and we started the champers darling.

By the time dinner was ready, we had finished the champers so we had wine to wash down the pork and yorkshires. After our main course, we had a choice of three desserts, but by now, we were all pretty sloshed and not much eating was being done.



The whole idea of this dinner was to wish me happy birthday and it started early, so we could finish early as we all had things to do the next day.

I'm told by my flatmates that I staggered thru the door at 3am.

Needless to say, I didnt get up in time for my planned trip to the Sydney Royal Easter Show.....

Grange Hill Race Fight

I LOVE YOUTUBE! For those of who didn't know, many years ago I appeared in Grange Hill in a few episodes as one of "Grippers" hench men in his racist gang....can you spot me?

LEARN TO SWIM

This YouTube clip is only for those over a certain age! The youngsters won't remember it!

Easter and the Res-Erection

So, there I am, looking forward to the four day weekend with excitement. Beer, fun, beer, fun, beer.......That is until I find out that most pubs are closed on Good Friday, because that's the day our Good Lord gave his life for our sins.

Do I look religious? Do I care that He died for my sins? Not bloody likely!

Now, don't get me wrong. I fully support the right for anyone and everyone to believe in what they feel or have faith in. That's their God given right. I look forward to Easter as much as the next Christian. But what I should mention is that I look forward to any day off work regardless of the religion that particular holiday belongs too.

When I rule the world, I will make all religious days holidays. I'll be able to get drunk at Easter, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Diwali....there will be no end to my drunkeness. Except of course for those days where I have to go to work, which at the moment stands at five days a week.

I reckon that when I rule the world I will be able to bring that down to about three days weeks.

All those in favour say 'aye'


A rainbow has something to do with Easter right? Well, here's a rainbow over the party in Bondi. God was smiling that day.

Anyhow, after a rather bad Good Friday, I descended on the locals with a vengeance only to realise I wasn't in the mood, so went home earlyish. After all, I had been invited to a friends for dinner on the Sunday "for nibbles and drinks" so didn't want to overdo it. I should mention at this point I turned down another invite to dinner on Sunday, because of the first invite.

Sunday morning, up early, shave, shower, preen and pluck for dinner as she has "some friends from Adelaide who I would like you to meet."

There I am in all my fabulous glory when the text came thru. "Sorry, gonna cancel"......then came the voicemail (cos I was too bloody pissed off to answer her call) Sorry Gaz, been on the piss all night, can barely stand etc etc etc" (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOU FINALLY GOT YOUR MENTION!)

I quickly text the 2nd invite and re-invited myself (whilst eating humble pie). Thankfully they allowed me into their throng, even though I now made the numbers up to 13!


A very very humble pie

Drinking, eating, games, Easter egg hunts (Which, by the way, we should have won! We were robbed!), dancing, music and finally the police calling and telling to go the hell home and stop this racket as neighbours have complained.


My, I have gained weight !

Face, bothered, face, bothered, bothered face, police, whatever, 2am?, drunk, face bothered. I AINT BOTHERED!

ZZZzzzzzzz

All names & faces have been removed to protect the guilty.

EARTHQUAKE IN SYDNEY

PICTURE EXCLUSIVE AS TREMOR ROCKS THE OPERA HOUSE !

Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

A few weeks ago, me and a few mates from work went to see the Sydney Waratahs. They are the local rugby union side here in Sydders. We got some freebie tickets from our bankers as they are the teams sponsors.



In all honesty, it wasn't that exciting despite it being the first match of the season. The game was pretty nondescript and it ended in a draw. With this being Australia, the sponsors get a big mention as with all things here. You know the sort of stuff, like at the end of TV shows you'll have a rolling credit giving info on stuff you dont need to know like:
"Graham Kennedy was dressed by Myers"
"Flowers by Bloom or Bust"
"Hair by Toupes are us"

Well, its no different at the rugby. You have the opportunity to buy a banner for $7.00 which shows the name of the sponsors. Hold it up at half time and if the TV camera stops on you, you get 5,000 bucks courtesy of "The worlds local bank" who are the sponsors.



Anyway, once again, thanks to the worlds local bank, me and my boss, the worlds local bludgers (Aussie for ponces) obtained a couple more of these freebies and were invited to a corporate lunch at the Sheraton on the Park with the Waratahs.

A Waratah, by the way, is the state flower of NSW.



Upon arrival, had a couple o' beers and sat down at our table. The dinner was hosted by a famous person (Famous here, no idea what his name is, but he hosts some sports program on Foxtel (Sky).

We had no less than two 'Tahs' at our table, Brett Shehan & (insert name I dont remember). Also there were The team captain Adam Freier, Rocky Elsom, more names I dont remember and the coach Ewan Mackenzie.

My mate Brett

El Capitan

Oh Rocky!

Whilst I was chatting to Brett, my new mate, someone asked why he wasn't drinking.

"Aaarrr, I did my ribs in a couple of weeks ago and it really hurts."

I nodded sagely and agreed in a grunt like fashion "uh huh"

"Oh have you ever done your ribs in?" he asked looking directly at me

"Yes, just the other day, I was typing an e-mail in the office and 'crack' went a rib"

Silence........................

Exit stage left.....

Melbourne - The Grand Finale

Melbourne – part 3

As sunset approached, we left the animals behind and headed to the south of the island, passing some great scenery and coastline. After again asking a local Jap for a pic, we were headed off to the day’s finale!

The Penguin Parade is a local wildlife phenomenon, where after a full day of fishing out at sea, Fairy Penguins, also know as Little Penguins (the reason why!)head home to their burrows in the hills.

Now, when you think of penguins, you think cold, snow and blizzards, but these little blighters live in Oz! When I say little, I mean little! They are the smallest species of penguin and grow to about 11” but with the way they walk they stand about 8” tall and weigh as much as a UK bag of sugar, 1Kg.!!!! They’re bloody tiny.

About 1500 people sat and waited on specially constructed seating on the beach for the sun to set. Spotlights dotted the coastline so we could see them arrive and about 20 minutes and the Sun had gone, they started arriving.

Only two at first, suddenly appearing on the line of surf. You could barely make them out against the white of the breaking water. First looking left then looking right and as if crossing a road, they waddled their way across the beach towards the hills. Then there was another fifteen, another ten, twenty appeared further up the beach, all doing the Green Cross-Code. Look left, look right then look left again……run for it lads…..waddles waddle waddle…..

There was a specially built boardwalk thru penguin territory, so we headed up the hill ourselves and watched as the little fairies walked side by side with us searching out their own burrow. Calling and flapping their tiny wings/flippers. Groups of ten would arrive and walk the walk watched by us. One would suddenly break off from the group and you’d see his arse disappear down a hole! The groups would count down this way 10, 9 8….Bloody amazing to see and you can get really close! I was gob smacked and you know that don’t happen to me very often!

The only drawback is that absolutely no pictures are allowed. Apparently 1500 hundred people taking pictures with flashes scares the little buggers and occasionally one would drop dead right on the spot from fright! So the pics you see of the actual birds are from the WWW, so you can see the size of these things…

After the spectacle had finished we headed off home to Melbourne arriving at around 11pm. Took this last photo and went to bed.

And that, as they say, was Melbourne.