Don't ask me, I only work here !

Just next to Sydney Aquarium is another one of those Tourist Trap Robbing Bastard places. This one is imaginatively called Sydney Wildlife World. Being a tourist, I bought a 'combo' ticket last week when I visited the aquarium, which gets me into three places, giving me a saving of 25 bucks!

I got to this weeks outing at about 10:10 and saw there was a talk on the Cassowary Bird (which can kill a bloke with one kick) at 10:30, so I got a wriggle on and made my way to the talk area where I was greeted by an aboriginal guy.

"G'day mate, you here for the talk?" he asked

"I am mate" I answered and sat down.

It was a very boring talk with very few facts, though I can tell you that in one of the aboriginal languages of what is now Queensland, the Cassowary is called the king of the forest. Well. There you go.

Killer bird

At the end of his 8 minute monologue he asked "Anyone got any questions?"

I was gonna ask a question about breeding when a an American lady beat me too it and basically asked the same question I was thinking of. "Do you ever breed them?"

I thought this was a good question and so did the guy doing the talk. In fact he said so right after he said "Ah, err, umm, well, ah, you see, I'm not a keeper so I wouldn't know, I'm just an interactive host, but good question."

My next question should have been "Why ask us if we have any questions when its blatantly obvious you dont know any answers?" But I didn't. I should have, but I didn't. In fact I just smiled to myself and thought "What a Looooser."

Next stop was the talk on Australian Bird-life. Ooooo, great I thought and headed up to the koala enclosure where the talk was being given. I arrived to see a young lady with a Pink Cockatoo sitting on her finger asking the question "Can anybody tell me what colour this bird is?"

I turned around and headed towards the exit. I couldn't take anymore. She was sat there with a fucking PINK bird on her hand asking people what fucking colour it was. I could barely contain myself, I was chuckling that much.

Heading now towards the exit I stopped to look at some yellow foot wallaby type thing, which was kinda interesting. Just by the exit door was a member of staff with a lizard on her arm.

"What's that?' I ask

"It's a Shingleback" came the reply.

"Oh, is it a skink?" I enquire as it looked like one.

"No, its a lizard" she replied in all seriousness.

I laughed so much, milk came out of my nostrils!

If there was an award for dumbass staff who don't have a clue where they work, this place would win hands down.

On the recommendation of Ruth, I headed over to Pyrmont Bridge which is the worlds oldest surviving, electrically operated swing bridge opened in 1902. I got to sit with the Fat Controller in his little box and he gave me a talk all about the bridge.

Open Sesame!

He obviously loves his job very much as he could tell me exactly how many yachts had passed through in the last month and could even tell me the previous month without referring to his log book. Which in fact he did do to let me know how many yachts came through the month previous to that. 39 in case you were wondering. Still, it made for a nice chat. Thanks Ruth!

The Fat Controllers Box

I rode the monorail home and watched Singin' in the Rain. Never seen it before. Never will again.

Cya !